Wednesday, July 18

Even if I don't succeed.

Salam and Hi all.

I've always wanted to try new things to create experiences with as few regrets as possible.
But when the opportunity comes, I will think that is something wayyyyy out of my comfort zone. I don't really have that confidence.

It's either I will push myself to do it, or I will let the opportunity goes to someone else.

There was a time I joined an audition for College Suara Emas, I picked Irama Melayu as my genre. I passed the audition and Id been chosen to go to final. And I had no confidence, I think I will not win the competition, I think that others are way better than me.

I asked my friends "Should I go to final?", they say yes I need to at least give it a try, they say that Ive got the voice, I've the opportunity to win. But then, even after Ive got all the advice, they encouraged me to go to final, but still because I was so scared to lose. I drop-off from the final with no regrets at first.

A month after the competition, I accidentally met one of the music trainers there something yknowww. Then he asked me, why I wasn't there at the final - he thought I will win the competition, he seemed a lil bit disappointed with me, I said sorry. And I realized I should give it a try! Even if I don't succeed, but I will learn something.

Nahhh its too late to regret.

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There was a time when I was being offered to emcee an event, like informal emcee and the event must be hosted in English. I really really want to do it, I was scared if I don't succeed. But lesson learnt, I don't want to do the same mistake again. So yes, I do it. I went out of my comfort zone. I did it.

The director of the event talked to me at the end of the show and said I was good. I was like OMG really? It meant so much to hear those words. I felt grateful.

I think I did better that I thought I would do.

I finally started feeling somewhat comfortable in being on stage. Yaaa I made few mistakes along the way but I felt more confident in my abilities and got better at emcee, to speak in public. Its hard to tell, the feelings is weird but beautiful. Yknowww what I mean?

And yes I grew up from that experience.

What I've learnt is if you're feeling afraid to step out of your comfort zone. You just need to go for it! Trust me, you will not regret anything if you remember this, even if you dont succeed, you will learn something. Trust me, the feeling of self-satisfaction afterwards is freaking worth it. I felt it. And I want you to feel the same.

Saturday, July 14

Surat Kecil Untuk Tuhan

Salam and Hi all!

I thought that you would be the hero come in save the day, but you're the villain.

I just watched this movie Surat Kecil Untuk Tuhan.
I dont know about you but I cried like crazyyyyyyyyyyyyy! (Anyways I memang cepat koyak kind of person)

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This movie is about Angel and his brother Anton, their parents are dead so they stay at their aunt's. One day, they run from their aunt's maybe sebab tak tahan kena pukul and so on. So bermula lah perjalanan dua beradik ni. They have no where to go till they meet this one uncle named Rudy, at first his brother Anton refused to follow Uncle Rudy but then because he feels sorry for his sister, Angel, she is hungry and cold so they follow Uncle Rudy. They thought Uncle Rudy will help them to get a better life but they actually they are stucked into a syndicate. Okay I should stop here and you need to go watch this movie. 

Justtttt be prepared for so many sad scenes. I started to cry at the minute 20. 
Its so sad to think that some children dont have chance to enjoy their childhood. Terpaksa bekerja, minta sedekah etc. They are still kids tho. 

Have you ever been in a situation whenever you see kids ask for sedekah but you dont know either you want to give them money or not. We are so in dilemma, if we give them  money - it will be given to the person who runs the syndicate. But if we dont, what will happen to them if they dont bring back enough money. I dont know mannnn, but I think the best way is we give them food instead of money. So that the scumbag who runs the syndicate will be noted that running this business not bring them any profits anymore. Maybe they will stop. Perhaps? But still its scary, in this movie, it shows that these kids will end up died, and their organs will be sold. 

If the same thing is happening here in Malaysia. Please government! Do something to help them. Maybe they want to ask for helps but dont know how to.

This movie also made me realize that someone who loves us, will not leave us. Once there, forever they will be there.

Sorry Im a bit emotional. Its justtttt so sad TT__TT

I would give 8 out of 10 for this movie.

Thursday, July 12

After awhile.

Salam and Hi!

This is my first post after a very longggggggg time.
I was busy with my studies, not that busy but you know I don't have much time to blog and I was so lazy to post anything yknowwww what I mean.
The thing that I still got comments on this blog is insane. Like every time I logged into this blog and see some people leave comments, I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH!

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I miss my first year as a blogger, it was dope! I was so addicted in blogging, I was crazy doing blogwalking. The feelings is like you want to post everyday, blog everything. I loved the whole blogging thing, I loved the community we had.

When I first started blogging, I did not think likeeee anybody would be interested in my posting, leave some comments and follow this blog. I did not expect that. I was so happy and grateful when I reached my first thousand followers. Y'all are amazing.

I still love and always wanted to blog even I chose to be on hiatus for a long time, I still have passion in blogging.

Now I want to make everything back on track, I want to post things here - rant, random thoughts, life things and whatnot. I really really want to run this blog again. So excited, I really am.

Lets do it!

P.s. If you have any question. You can just drop your comment down below or drop a message on Sarahah

Till then.

Monday, January 22

You are enough.

Salam and Hi all.

I really really hope that you are doing well and in a good health.

Yes I havent posted for such a long time, again. (except for my last post)
So I literally dont know where to start from. lol. But yes 2018 has been okay so far.

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Here I wanna be real and honest with you, I used to feel like I am not enough. They tell me that Im skinny etc. I was like hello that isnt my fault - why people keep putting appearances number one?
And at that point, whenever Ive got compliments from people I was like "do they pity me or are those genuine compliments?" Yes yes I know, PARANOID.

One day I realised that I dont want to be that kinda person. Like I cant do that anymore. I want to be more confident in who I am and what I stand for.
I dont want to be better than anyone else. I dont want to compare myself with them, with beautiful women out there. I just wanna feel like I am enough, I will work for that and I will get there.

But how?

  • I start to believe in my own inner and outer self.
  • Accept all my strengths and weaknesses to empower what makes me unique and nourishes my continous growth.

That was me years ago, and now I can face people and their sharp words. I dont even give a crap to anyone who says I am not enough, I am this and that. They will never be able to make me believe whatever they tryna say.
Even if I make mistakes in life or bad things happen to me, well I know my worth and feel like I am enough and I can do anything. I will take the next step and will move forward, enjoy my life.
Everyone has weaknesses and flaws, but we can still be enough even we have those weaknesses and flaws.
I realised that I have always had and have always been enough.

Trust me that each one of us (and you) are amazing in our own way. And we are enough.
Friendly reminder that you have to keep trying real hard to push away the thoughts that tell you, you arent enough. Deal?

Tell yourself every single day that you are enough, its such a way of thinking that can set the stage to live a beautiful life. You will be happier.

I cant wait to see what happens in 2018, I hope this year brings us more amazing experience.

I'll be on my own till then, keep well.

Friday, January 19

Birthday letter for him.

Dear you,

I hope you are doing well.

Firstly, I wanted to greet you a very happy birthday. Now that you're 23 years old.

I know I've said this a hundred times but I'll be saying this, THANK YOU.
You've made my life so much brighter since you have stepped into it. I was grateful to meet you. And I couldn't ask for more.

I love you more than words could ever tell. I love you always and you know that I have never lied to you. I keep telling you this and maybe you are annoyed (lol) but just because sometimes I feel like I don't say it enough.

Yknow I am not so good in words, but I want you to know that you are a precious gift that happened to my life. I hope we will continue include each other in each other lives. I wanna make you happy and smile sincerely. I want you to be genuinely happy no matter what situation or circumstance come your way.

I wish you nothing but the best, more strength and patience. Always bear in your mind that whatever decisions you'll make, as long as you're happy with it and no regrets. You will always got my back and support. I know that with you, nothing is impossible (kinda salute you for that).

P.S I love everything about you (cant help myself from doing so)

Love, your horcrux.