the Ideals.

salam all.

everyone has a dream. i mean ambition. since tadika lagi cikgu cikgu mesti tanya "nak jadi apa bila besar?"
and typical answer was "saya nak jadi cikgu/polis/doktor/bomba/askar."
okay lah nak yang macho lagi "saya nak jadi doctor pakar bedah/scientist/angkasawan"

blerghhhh. i still remember when i was in primary school. im in standard 5 kot if i wasnt mistaken. and at that time Dr Sheikh Muzaffar was selected to go to space.
and all the grrrrls "omg handsomenyaaa omg omg omg". bukan tu je. ramai yang berebut tukar cita-cita nak jadi angkawasan.
blerghhh. propaganda je semua tu. and i was likeeee "handsome sangat ke? =3" handsome jugak tho. haha.

kalau dulu bila orang tanya aku "nanti dah besar nak jadi apa?"
without thinking "cikgu"
since mak was a teacher so i grew up seeing mak come home and brought buku buku untuk marking.
memang masa tu aku rasa kerja marking buku/exam paper dah habis syok.

bila dah besar sikit aku mula pikir nak jadi stewardess. (mohon jangan gelak)
bukan sebab nak naik flight free. bukan jugak sebab diorang nampak cantik. cuma masa tu aku imagine bila turun flight jalan belakang pilot. fuhhlamak.
but i knew i cant be a stewardess. first bcs of ketinggian and another big reason is i didnt get my parents's consent.
okay forget it.

dulu. masa kecik. the most of the ideals that we dream based on what we saw.
bila dah lagi besar. makin banyak yang kita nampak. and at that stage. aku mula tak tahu apa sebenarnya ambition aku.
bila orang tanya aku "nanti kau nak jadi apa haa? cita cita?"
aku akan cakap "engineer." actually bukan whole-hearted aku nak jadi engineer. aku pilih untuk jawab engineer sebab aku rasa benda tu dekat dengan aku. hahaha.

bila orang tanya "apa cita-cita awak?"
and we answered "takda cita cita."
mula lah forum perdana pasal pentingnya untuk ada cita cita pada umur 16 tahun.
personally. masa umur aku 16 tahun. langsung aku tak rasa pentingnya ada cita-cita. maybe bcs of ramai yang cakap. "lebih 50% kau takkan achieve apa yang kau rancang untuk jadi masa secondary school."

 

(what i wanna be?)

apa yang orang pernah suggest dekat aku.

"ee kau jadi lah penyanyi. suara kau best. taknak ke?', classmate

"hish. gila apaaaa? taknak lah. kalau aku nyanyi pun sebab suka suka. tak pernah mimpi nak jadi singer."

"jadi doktor nak?"

"taknaklah. tak minat."

pernah aku rasa nak jadi cikgu tadika. honestly. tapi bila makin besar. aku realize aku langsung tak minat nak jadi cikgu. cuma aku suka budak budak. thats it.

imma tell you frankly. apa yang ada dalam diri aku sekarang. i mean apa yang aku rasa aku ada minat in that field is.
lecturer.dentist.pharmacist. and the most field yang aku minat is science physical or medical physics.

but i didnt put my dreams in high expectations.
people said. "dont expect too much if you dont wanna feel disappointed"
thats why i choose to feel suprised. hahaha. yes. i just wanna follow the flow of my life.
what i wanna do in my life is strive in earnest tak kira dalam apa pun. because i believe Allah knows the best. and i put trust in Allah.

now. im trying my best to achieve my dreams without putting high expectations.

snooze ja-e-yah.

salam all.

i had blog about her before this. so you can read it HERE.
as i have mentioned in that post what is i memang dah biasa buat kerja macam tu. so there was no problemo at all.
and yaaaa it happened again lately. but this time with more challenging.

she was 2 yrs old girl but tersangat bijak and can speak fluently. so she came to me.

"hmmmmm. mengantoklah. nak tidur."

"ala kesiannya dia. jaiyah nak iolls tidurkan ke?"

"alaaaa nak susu."

and i was likeeeeeeee. haa mana nak cari susu. mama dia tak balik lagi and memang takda spare susu dekat rumah ni. nak tanya mak. mak pun tengah berehat dalam bilik.
so i thinked deeply bcs ye lah kalau tak bagi susu budak ni dah merengek. then i decided to give her dutchlady chocolate drink.

"jaiyahhhh. susu takde. kita minum susu coklat nak?"

"susu coklat? coklat? nak." (how happy she was when she heard coklat)

when i asked her to duduk bawah till i finish prepare that chocolate drink.

"alaaaa taknak duduk bawah. nak dukung jugak."

untuk elakkan budak ni merengek. so i had no choice and have to dukung dia while prepare the milk.
okay. left hand i dukung dia and right hand prepare the milk.
dugaan nya. bila kita nak bubuh milk powder tu dalam botol. at the same time dia pun was too busy nak masukkan jugak. sabar.
and yaaa.i managed. succeed. yey.

 

(last week punya gambar. hehehe)

then i brought her into my room. and yaaa i try to snooze her with berzikir. qasidah ya hanana etc.

too dismay. tak lama lepastu dia bangun and began to play again. and i was likeeeee tadi kata mengantok.

so i got an idea.

"jaiyahhhh. nak dengar cerita pasal gajah lagi tak yang macam haritu tu."

"gajah yang haritu? nak."

then i baringkan dia. so i create my own story about gajah. hahaha. well. dah biasa dah reka cerita pasal binatang ni. =D

i began to tell her bout the gajah and sepanjang cerita tu tak berenti dia tanya. hahaha how cute.

and yaaa all of sudden senyap. tak sempat nak dengar moral values dah lena.

good job ee.

hm. i imagine bila dah sambung belajar and of course lah jarang jumpa budak kecik ni. confirm rindu. just like what her mama told me.

"entah lah macam mana nanti kamu dah sambung belajar. dah lah manja sangat dia dengan kamu."

i smiled padahal dalam hati. TT___TT

normal dah lah sorok perasaan buat buat cool. bukan hipokrit. tapi control macho.

over lightning ni. hahaha. macho idak? =3

hahaha.

chaww lu.

salam sayang.

tahu masak?

salam all.

last night ive got some advices from kakak kakak blogger. who are kak Yaya and kak Zara.

"ee baik belajar masak dari sekarang sebab husband nanti nak rasa air tangan isteri. hahaha." kak Yaya.

"....................... ee sila belajar masak nanti mentua test." kak Zara.

based on cerita kak zara. ada lah bagi impact sikit dekat diri aku yang tak tahu nak masak ni.

this happened. aku tengah syok hadap laptop/phone/wechat. yknowwww. mak datang bilik.

"jom. mak ajar masak jom."

"jap lagi lah mak. jap jeeeeee eh?"

"cepatlah. ayah nak balik makan. mana boleh mak lambat lambat nak masak. mak tunggu kat dapur ni."

last-last aku datang tengok dah nak siap. so aku pun mula wondering. lama sangat ke aku punya kejap tu. pasrah je lah. hahaha.

 

(no motip. saja throwback. muahahahaha)

"before spm kata lepas spm nak belajar masak. sekarang ni tak belajar jugak. cemana ni anak dara tak pandai masak ni."

"alaaaa no worries mak. nanti lama lama orang pandai nya masak tu. bukan susah." 

"nanti dah kawin kena masak untuk husband. bangun pagi siapkan breakfast. lepastu masak untuk lunch pulak."

"orang belajar masak apa yang orang suka je boleh tak mak. macam orang tak suka kari takyah lah belajar yang tu."

"macam tu pulak. macam macam lah. belajar je semua. at least tahu. nanti dah kawin nak masak dekat rumah mentua lagi.

"makkkkk stop lah pasal kawin lambat lagi semua tu. banyak masa lagi. emmmm."

"imagine lah bila dah kawin nanti. mana boleh pikir lambat lagi. belajar dari sekarang."

aku senyap. hahaha.
pernah jugak bila semangat aku nak belajar masak setinggi klcc. aku jumpa mak kat dapur yang tengah masak untuk lunch.

"mak nak masak apa? ajar orang masak ni jap."

"mak nak cepat ni. nak pergi tengok adik dekat hostel dia outing harini. nak bawak dia keluar jap."

bukan sekali.

"mak ajar orang masak jap ehhhhh."

"tunggu kamu lambat lah mak kat dapur ni. harini mak nak cepat. lain kali ehhh."

"alaaaaa baru je ada semangat."

"tak apa. nanti dah kawin pandai pandai lah masak sendiri. confirm pandai lepastu."

mak suka camtu. bila tengah busy ayat pasrah je aku tak belajar masak. bila tengah free. mendesak kemain.
hahaha. thats why i love mak. cute kan perangai.

so aku pun curious. memang semangat aku sampai bila time mak busy je ke?
ke memang aku ni patutnya tak belajar masak. so bila dah kawin nanti baru lah boleh tunjuk depan husband kesungguhan aku nak belajar masak. barulah tambah sayang. hahaha boleh ke gitu?

but yaaa. aku sangat slow-motion bila dekat dapur. seriously. sampai ayah pun pernah tegur. ayah ajar aku potong buah lagi.
nope. bukan aku tak reti. tapi ayah ajar teknik yang betul. hehehe.

kalau kauorang baca post aku on sunday, 2013 february 23 (HERE) dah cukup nampakkan yang aku ni memang tak pandai masak.
belum aku cerita aku masak maggi sampai perencah dia tu hangit. emm takyah lah cerita eh? =3

okay relax. its okay. aku akan pandai masak as soon as possible. jangan terkejut kalau nanti blog aku cerita pasal masak je.
ye lah dah jadi masterchef.

hahaha. mohon muntah hijau berjemaah.

chawww lu.
salam sayang.

the way i become a friendly person.

salam all.

maybe some of us is a very friendly and sociable. but some are not.
i mean they dunno how to start the conversation or dunno how to befriended with somebody. etc.
and i frequently look myself. yaaa i just wanna know that i am a friendly type of person or not.
but too dismay i cant identify. hahaha. ye lah bcoz sometimes i friendly and sometimes tak.
but i always try to be friendly as much as i can.

like what has happened lately.
as you know from my previous post that i went ipg with ayah. just with ayah to take the ukcg.
and ayah told me to berdikari since im alone without ayah and mak soon so ayah wants to familiarize me with such a situation.
and i take the challenge. yes i consider it a challenge. for myself actually.

so im alone there. pergi dewan exam sensorang as i asked ayah not to accompany me. i told ayah that "its okay and im gonna be okay"

sampai dewan i take the first step what is senyum without say anything. hahaha.
and i find my target. boleh nampak tak kesungguhan aku sampai nak letak sasaran?
how to know our target? kacang goreng je. bila kita dah senyum without say anything. tengok siapa yang reply senyum with full of ikhlas. then she/he is your target.

then i came to her. if i wasnt mistaken. i hulurkan tangan to bersalam. as usual. and she asked me to sit beside her.
any i was likeeeee fuhh nasib baik sasaran aku kali ni friendly jugak. tanya sekolah mana etc.
bcoz i think im the type of person yang kalau orang tu okay and i will be okay. kalau orang tu jenis pendiam and tak banyak cakap so i wont be a talkative too. thats it. do you know what i meann? i hope you so.

bila dalam dewan and as usual kena ambik tempat. and i told her to sit there and i sit beside her.
Alhamdulillah. for physical test pun kami diletakkan dalam group yang sama. and i was like. yeah this is fate. hahaha.
so i'll try hard to be a good new friend. i banyak susahkan dia tho. haih. when i lose my ic. she said.

"jom lah lepasni kita cari sesama. kita jalan balik pergi dewan. takpe. teman lah."

she was such a very kind and good new friend to me. so caring about my ic yang hilang and everything.
and i was likeeeee. omg. baiknya. how can i reply all this to her if we wont meet again. what i love about her is she not a mengada ngada type of girl. i mean she looked lasak and yah i love it.

(nampak sangat muka penat aku. masa ni kitorang baru habis bleep test tahu takkkkkkkkkkk!)

so thank you so much and much to you my new friend. for accompany me seharian at ipg. and for layan aku dengan sangat baik. em so happy to know you. seriously. till we meet again.

so remember these steps. first. smile without say anything. bila dah jumpa target. baru angkat senjata. i mean go to her/his and do something like salam or try to say anything. get it huh?

then you shall know whether tembakan korang kena sasaran or not. who knows? only you know. hahaha.

p/s :

actually nak pergi ukcg tu aku sangat stress dengan pimples yang mula naik blerghhhhhhh. dengan eyebag yang memang nampak sangat aku selalu tidur lewat. haih sabar je lah. 

when i told to my sista.

"aghhhh entah pape lah all these pimples time nak pergi exam nak pulak keluar. padah haritu malas nak cuci muka lah kot ni. tidur lambat. macam tak bermaya kan tengok? geram pulak kita. hmm."

"tu lah. padan mukaaaaa. maya kan lah muka kamu tu. pergi buh tomato masker ke apa. hahahahaahaha (gelak macam lawak)"

okay. salam sayang.

chawww lu.

qualification test #ukcg #ipg

salam all.

as what you know ive got a qualification test for ipg  (HERE) and i didnt prepare apa sangat pun (HERE)

i went there with my beloved and handsome ayah. haha. tak jauh pun dari rumah. tapi kami gerak awal dari rumah bcs ayah risau traffic jam.
mak already prepared chocolate milk dutchlady and bread for me. so i breakfast dalam kereta je.
when we arrived there,

"nak ayah teman tak ni?"

"ikut ayah lah. its okay kalau ayah tak teman. orang pergi sendiri."

"belajar survive sendiri eh anak ayah. ayah tengok dari sini. ingat pesan ayah. jangan paksa diri. kalau rasa tak mampu stop je."

"okay ayah. doakan tau."

so i salam and ayah kiss me.

#written test

i answered all the questions with full of spontaneous. i dunno whether my answers is true or not tho but i thought everything's okay.
anyway instructions dia pun suruh jawab secara spontan. and a few minutes before the time runs out i already answered all the questions given which is 160 objective questions. hehehe.

#physical test

overall okay lah.i got full marks for sit up and kilas sisi. but yaaa too dismay. bleep test kantoi.
hahaha. whatever. aku memang dah agak bleep test mesti tak power.
tu pun aku dah tak larat sangat dah. before level 2.5 pun aku dah tak mampu but yaa i just wanna try my best. i mean i wanna strive in earnest. thats it.
so when i stopped. actually i surrender. haha. the one of the coach. i dunno coach ke leacturer. whatever. haha. he said.

"haaa sampai pucat pucat dah muka."

"hehehe. dah tak larat sangat dah."

balik tu dalam kereta. aku cerita semua dekat ayah. and yaaa especially cerita pasal bleep test which is i super hate it.

"tadi orang give up je. surrender sebab tak larat sangat dah."

"haaaa baguslaha anak ayah. macam tu lah pandai jangan nak paksa diri. kan ayah dah pesan."

so we just wait and see for the result. i mean if i get the interview. Alhamdulillah. and if not pun Alhamdulillah because ive got an experience from qualification test. hehe. redha. i put trust in Allah.

ive got a message at facebook. wechat and cbox especially. they asked me "how the ukcg?" etc.
apologize bcs dah buat kauorang tertanya yknoww. actually aku rasa agak malas nak update.
bcs badan aku sakit sakit so it makes me feel very lazy. seriously. TT___TT

mak told me.

"biasalah tu. badan dah lama rehat. ehhh memang dari dulu rehat je kan?"

hahahaha. ye lah. mak suka cakap camtu kat aku kalau bab sukan/kokurikulum ni bcs aku memang tak involved langsung.

no preparation act.

salam all.

as you know i've chosen to take a ukcg (ipg) qualifying test. uolls can read it HERE.
so far what is my preparation? em. to be honest. i dont make sufficient preparations. hahaha.
im just asking ppl who take this test before me. i mean before 16 april. and yeahhh. their answers are quite pleasing me.

cheers. hahaha.

yesterday i went to sch to settle a few things. and yaa i just got beberapa encouraging words from cikgu cikgu. yknoww.

"dapat IPG? haaaa pergi je lah. ambik peluang tu. tunggu apa lagi. takyah pikir panjang dah."

"hehehe. saya memang pergi pun. esok. hari rabu."

"kamu memang nak jadi cikgu ke?"

"ehhh tak lah. tak pernah rasa nak jadi cikgu pun. saja apply dapat pergi je lah."

"laaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh -,-"

next.

"haa buat elok elok. physical test tu confirm awak boleh buat punya. senyum senyum tunjuk muka manis sikit. peramah dengan orang. ciri ciri cikgu tu kena ada."

and words yang tak berapa encouraging.

"awak tak payahlah pergi IPG tu. jangan pergi lah." (sambil geleng kepala)

"haaaaa kenapa?" (dengan full of curiosity)

"awak kawin dengan saya je lahhhhh."

"haihh sir ni." (senyum kambing lembu semua keluar)

and yaaaaa. mak so helpful and supportive.

"baju putih dah ada kan tapi mana letak mesti tak ingat kan? beli baru je lah."

"memang tak ingat pun. okay mak."

"taknak pergi jogging ke buat apa apa activity petang petang. mak risau physical test kamu ni. boleh ke larat tak?"

"no worries. boleh. macam segak je rasanya. kurang lebih macam gitu."

i knew why that test quite risaukan mak. yaaa because of sometimes i got problem with my respiration. its not athsma. etc. no need to know bcs nothing serious. hahaha.

"ni mak dah print kan semua yang patut. jangan lupa isi awal. no last minute please."

"okay mak. beres."

"kasut sukan mak dah prepare kan. track bottom ada kan? tudung hitam ada."

how lucky i am kan? thanks mak <3

"nanti mak tak pergi teman tau. mak ada class. pergi dengan ayah lah kot eh. akem tak tahu tempat tu rasanya."

"okay makkkk TT___TT"

this is what im worried about. at first i thought mak will accompany me. tapi tak.
but ayah ada so okay lah. kalau pergi dengan abang. risau i cant survive without my parents. before this memang tak pernah rasanya sendiri sendiri.

aghhhhh cemana lah aku nak sambung study jauh jauh kalau terus macam ni.
confirm homesick tahap parah.

p/s:
finally merasa jugak coolblog chocolate pearl. and kinder bueno. aku memang kipas susah mati chocolate.

chaww lu,
salam sayang.

compassion.

salam all.

i realize that i was someone who was too easy to feel sorry for others. i mean yaaa. sangat senang untuk kesiankan orang. and i shall help them.
not only to those around me even to strangers also.
and what is troubling my parents is my compassion for strangers.

for instance masa aku hampir nak kena culik last year. i'd blog bout that case. (uolls can read it HERE)
ayah told me,

"orang zaman sekarang ni takda yang boleh percaya. even ada pun. memang jangan percaya. banyak yang jahat dari yang baik. yang kita kenal pun boleh buat jahat kat kita. ni pulak yang tak kenal."

ya lahhh. mana ayah tak bising. everything happens bcs at first i wanna help that makcik indon cilakak.
aghh how come she wanted kidnapped me? cinabeng betul.

and mak once told me.

"tak boleh nak positive-thinking sangat dengan strangers. people nowadays ni lain macam. Allah pun bagi kita akal nak pikir. what the consequences kalau kita buat macam ni ke macam tu. think."

yes. i knew my parents were too worry nak lepaskan i to continue my study. akulah anak yang tersangat careless. and rare think wisely before do something.till i get the consequence.

careless is one of habits that i cant and hard to buang dalam bakul sampah etc. i keep recycling that habits.

the other type of perasaan kesian aku kat orang yang tak patut ada is when i knew that i cant help. i mean i dont have ability to help them but i still wanna try to.
some times i think. bila aku dah tahu aku tak boleh but aku still nak tolong. akan buat diorang rasa lagi kecewa.
dissapointed me =(

this is what happened lately.

"esok ada kat rumah tak? ajat buat kerja kursus. tension kot kawan aku semua dah seimbang,"

"ada je. aku memang free? normal lah aku dulu pun tak balance lepastu aku tibai je. esok pukul 10."

mamat ni pun datang lah rumah aku. actually he's my lil bro's friend. aku dengan kengkawan adik aku memang member.
boleh imagine tak? aku blur tengok semua kertas dia. 'yang ni dulu aku boleh buat asal sekarang lupa.'
dia dah memang separuh blur. aku blur terus. blank.

"takpa lah. kau balik rumah dulu kasi aku semua ni aku tolong buatkan."

"betul ni. terbaiklah hang."

yang aku tak paham. aku tahu otak aku ni dah lama tak pikir benda berat berat ni. but i still wanna help him.
lepastu aku sorang pening kat rumah ni. how to do all that accpunting work. yang aku pergi offer pasal apa.
aku kesian tengok muka dia stress gila.

"amacam susah tak? mesti susah gila kan?"

"aku blur gila. dah lama cuti. camni lah."

"abis tu? ko tak boleh buat lah? aku pressure gila ni."

aghhhhh this is more heartbreaking. kesian lah aku tengok. last last aku suruh dia copy kawan dia. kalau tak bagi jugak. bayar lah sikit.
nasib ada yang nak bagi.

sebenarnya aku kena tahu dulu ability aku untuk tolong orang lain. tapi tak. rasa kesian aku kat orang sampai lupa kemampuan diri aku sendiri.

ini baru contoh. banyak lagi situation yang tak patut aku ada.

chaww lu.
salam sayang.

ai pi gee interview.

salam all.

Alhamdulillah. i feel very grateful bcs i got an interview for IPG.
aku bukan nak sangat tho. but yaa. Alhamdulillah.

 

masa apply i choose pendidikan awal kanak kanak course. and dapat interview for that couse. Alhamdulillah.

when i knew bout this interview. i began imagine to wear baju kurung with wedges. but too dismay. rupanya kena pakai baju sukan. hahahaha.
okay. i see. kena pakai baju sukan bcs of physical test. wathaaaa?
then i told mak.

"ada physical test lah. kena pakai baju sukan. long-sleeves white shirt and track bottom"

"physical test? risaunya mak. boleh ke kamu ni. study sikit sikit pasal course tuu."

"bolehhhhhhhhhhhhh nya. beres."

then i told ayah that i got this interview.

"nak jadi cikgu ke? dapat course apa?" (oh yaaaa. lupa nak kasi tahu ayah masa nak apply haritu)

"course pendidikan awal kanak kanak. hm tak pernah terpikir nak jadi cikgu. tapi try luck je lah."

"lahhhh masa apply memang ambik course tu ke? takpelah. pergi je lah interview tu nanti. kawan mak ada dekat situ setahu ayah. haritu apply UPU ada ambik pharmacist tak?"

***************

actually tak study apa pun lagi. hahaha. pray for me. mana tahu ada rezeki. hm hm.
anyway. yang ada experienced pergi interview IPG etc. ni. share with me pls. sharing is caring.

chaww lu.
salam sayang.

skinny short.

salam all.

first of first. look at this.

yes. i admit. my face looks like muka muka orang yang ketinggian 160+ cm.

at first. i didnt realize it at all. but then. hahahafiz often told me the same thg. and from time to time i became aware of it.
when i began to realize, i see my photos and i estimate the height based on my face. saja saja ya. hahaha.
oh yaaaa. i looked like orang orang yang tinggi. padahal?

i dunno why i always feel that im not pendek type of ppl. hahaha. seriously. i knew this is what we called pewasantan/perasan.
but i speak honestly about what i feel. hm. maybe bcs of my face buat aku rasa camtu. kot. kan?

(ada nampak macam orang yang just 154cm? =3)

and for weight im just 43 kg. itu paling berat. pernah jugak 41 kg. itu paling ringan.
my weight regularly changing. but still remain between 41-43 kg. pernah jugak sekali dulu 44 kg.

actually dulu badan i berisi. seriously. i mean berat dalam 46-47 kg.
if i wasnt mistaken. when i was in form 2. i got a severe fever. takda lah demam panas. but teruk. dalam seminggu. then i lost my appetite. lama jugak lah. so that situation buat aku terbiasa tak makan banyak.
and after i recovered from fever. i began to tak suka makan nasi. more to bread. biscuit. yknow what i mean?
so lama lama badan aku jadi kecik macam sekarang. hahaha.

and yaaaa. aku tak berapa suka makan nasi. lebih lebih kalau lauk tu yang aku tak suka. memang sanggup ambik biscuit.roti etc. only.
tapi kalau ada ayam. memang aku sukaaaaaa. hahaha.

i try badly to gain weight bcs of my bmi is underweight. but it didnt work. when i told mak. mak just said "belum masanya badan tu naik."
okay. and i cool je. okay what. nampak kecik. forever young.
im too happy when mak's fellow thought that im still in standard 6.
but the annoying part when my lil bro's friend wanna try to flirt. you knowww what im saying? -,-

okay chawww lu.
salam sayang. bye.

kid kiddo.

Salam all.

semalam gua kena jadi babysitter. jaga adik adik saudara dengan anak saudara gua yang sorang tu.
haihh. gua semakin tak paham apesal bebudak ni kalau dengan gua extreme semacam.
kalau dengan kakak dengan mak gua, pandai pulak kurangkan nakal dengan mengada diorang tu.

ke diorang anggap aku ni umur macam diorang je.
padahal gua dah buatkan susu. mandikan 3 kali tahuuuu? still tak boleh rasa gua ni lagi besar dari diorang ke?

blerghhhh

(adik 4 yrs old. and always wanna be a raksaksa. bukan ultraman)

sebenarnya gua rasa gangster gua tercabar bilamana.

diorang datang serang gua masa tengah tidur lagi. gerak gua bangun and at the same time. selongkar habis benda benda yang gua simpan.
ambik kerusi nak ambik barang tinggi. yang kakak tolong adik ambik kerusi. adik panjat.

bila gua baring siap naik atas gua lagi. bila gua menerap. pergi berpakat tiga beradik tu geletek kaki gua.
yang adik siap pijak belakang gua lagi. belum lagi tetiba peluk gua. blerghhhh.

boleh imagine yang kakak tu siap nak dukung gua lagi and she said "awak ni kurus kan"
ye lah. kakak debab. hahahaha.

the most thg yang gua suka dengan diorang ni adik beradik. bercakap bahasa ultraman. "saya awak" and nada ke apa semua  sebijik bijik macam dalam ultraman.
hahaha. ultraman over dose.

(abang and kakak. 8 and 6 yrs old. abang pasif sikit dari kakak.hahaha)

yang abang tak habis tanya "awak. sekarang ni dah petang ke belum?". ye lah dia tanya gua bila aiskrim nak lalu. gua cakap lah "petang nanti baru ada. sabar lah dulu." padahal dekat taman ni dah lama pakcik aiskrim tak lalu. mana pergi entah. selalunya ada je TT___TT

"saya tak suka lah cuaca harini. memang sangat teruk. sebab tu saya nak aiskrim."

"apesal pulak. bagus lah mendung. sejuk."

bila dah sampai petang diorang tanya mak pulak bila aiskrim nak lalu. mak pergi cakap. kat sini dah lama aiskrim tak lalu.
then mak jumpa aku.

"tadi diorang tanya mak. bila pakcik aiskrim nak lalu. diorang kata kamu cakap petang nanti baru ada. mak kata dah lama pakcik aiskrim ni tak lalu. then they said you're lying. why?"

"orang malas nak layan cakap je lah petang. mana tahu harini ada lalu pulak keeeee."

yang bebudak tu tak habis kata gua tipuuuuuuuuuuuuu. blerghhhh.
gua cakap je lah. "okay aiskrim takda. tapi kat sana tu ada orang jual air ais."

"jom lah awak. jom lah pergi beli air ais. kami tak pernah tengok air ais tu macam mana. awak pergi lah mandi. jom lahhhhh" (ulang again and again)

gua cakap air ais tu. air yang bubuh ais. tapi kat situ jual air such as cocacolat.pepsi.strawberry f&n. etc actually gua malas nak bagi bebudak ni minum air camtu. diorang dah selalu dengan fast food tho.
dengan gua kita jaga pemakanan sikit ye. padahal. gua sendiri?

blerghhhhh.

and banyak lagi yang diorang buat yang mencabar ke-gangster-an gua. sampai yang adik lari lari target perut gua. perghhhhhhhhhh. sakit siot.

jangan ingat gua ni tak garang. sebenarnya garang. tapi sebab anak orang malas nak ambik port nak garang sangat.
hahaha.

okay lah. gua admit. gua dengan bebudak susah sikit nak garang. entahlah. bukan tak pernah marah. tapi tak tahu apesal. diorang susah sangat nak dengar cakap gua. kenapaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

okay chaww lu.
salam sayang.

Beautiful. its true.

Salam all.

Perempuan.

bila orang kata cantik. susah sangat nak mengaku.

bila orang kata buruk. mula rasa diri tu betul buruk.

kata buruk jap lagi baru tahu.

hahahafiz told me. and i was likeeeeeeeeeeeee. okay. a little bit terasa because im this type of perempuan.
and he often do some tricks to make me say i am beautiful. blerghhhhhhh.

so perempuan. lets tell them. all the men out there. that we all looked the most beautiful in our own way.

ya girls. we are beautiful.

okay okay. thank you James Blunt for having a crush on me.
but. emmm. apologize James Blunt. you're not my cup of tea.

(sila muntah dengan extreme-nya)

pewasantan siot post kau kali ni ee.

kisah?

hahaha. chaw luuuu.
salam sayang.